The Great Satan Grows Good Corn

Hugo Chavez of Venezuela and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran have made no bones about their disdain for America and her President, George Bush.  Yet, it turns out that America—the Great Satan, the donkey, the paper tiger, the root of all evils—grows really good corn and grows a lot of it.  Therefore, these self-righteous, hyper-critical dictators are at least humble enough to recognize whose hands hold the corn.  According to a recent news article, these dictators trade in their convictions for corn, routinely buying millions of tons of corn and grain from the U.S. in order to feed their people (though you can bet their personal diets exceed cornbread).  They must, after all, feed their people.  If they do not feed their people—at least enough to keep them alive—they run the risk of revolution from the masses.  If their people revolt, then they will no longer have the platform of power from which they preach against the Great Satan (who grows all the corn).  In other words, they rely on a hand from the U.S. to feed them.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to bite the hand that feeds them.